Trimming the Fat: On Revising

The best rejection letter I got so far showed (extreme) interest in a rewrite. I am honored. It also mentioned that I might be tired of my story. My immediate response was that I wasn't. I love my book and I feel like it's a necessary story. But to be perfectly honest...

I wasn't sure.

I am primary interested in writing Science Fiction, but I love reading fantasy--and there aren't many fantasy books on the market that I want to read. Like Toni Morrison says: 

I'm 25, I have a decades long career ahead of me.

Even after I'm signed, there will be more revisions.

Then I'll get an editor and I'll have to make more revisions. Then I'll move on to another project and do this whole thing again. So I know there is no point in being tired of my book--not if I love it. 

 

However, maybe I'm actually tired of how much I love my book.

I kept saying "I know the book needs work," but maybe I didn't actually believe it. Because I couldn't pinpoint the issues and I sent it out. And the agent in question gave excellent feedback that left me wondering how I missed it all. Long story short: I'm a good writer and perhaps I write too much. So I need to skim my book down--streamline it. Trim the fat. 

 

And while I think it should be easy: 

My experience is more like this:

Me                 Manuscript

I'm trying to be objective. Kill who needs to die. Cut out the scenes that don't further the story. It is difficult but a needed skill.  I procrastinate (Clearly, I'm blogging).

The worst part about it, probably, is that I think I'm really close. I've said in previous posts that this is the nicest and most empowering experience I've had querying. And I'm grateful for the kind rejections but they're still rejections. They're the sort of rejections that remind me how close I truly am. So close....so, so close. It's almost painful.

Dealing with Rejection: The Bey Way

In the past, I've cried over a query letter. And I'm not being dramatic. I've been heartbroken over the rejection. It is exhausting to hear agent after agent tell you that your project is not right for them. It's rough because it's an informal form letter that reeks with politeness. Phrases like "Keep going" and "the business is purely subjective" are meant to comfort but they can be infuriating. Once, an agent asked for my full book, only to refuse me. Another agent said she'd be interested in a re-write but ended up disinterested. This is not unusual but its not easy. At the end of the day I found myself sitting in front of my computer, sick and tired like: 

This

Twice now, I have completely stopped in my tracks while looking for an agent. This time around, I'm at 40 queries and I don't know how many rejections. And I don't care! Rejections are a part of life. It doesn't mean I stop. It means I keep going. If an agent passes on my book--it's okay because I didn't want that agent. 

Another thing that has helped, are two quotes from other writers I admire. The first is Octavia Butler who said "Getting a rejection slip was like being told your child is ugly. You got mad and didn't believe a word of it. Besides, look at all the really ugly literary children out there in the world being published and doing fine!" (Furor Scribendi). Right on, Mother Butler!

Sometimes, I'm really sad about books I don't like making it to the top of charts and I feel like I can't even get an agent to look my way. Jealousy is normal, I get over it but in the moment I need attention. The thirst is real. I reek of desperation.

Neil Gaiman also has inspiring words from his Blog entry titled "On Writing": "The best reaction to a rejection slip is a sort of wild-eyed madness, an evil grin, and sitting yourself in front of the keyboard muttering "Okay, you bastards. Try rejecting this!" and then writing something so unbelievably brilliant that all other writers will disembowel themselves with their pens upon reading it, because there's nothing left to write." In other words, werk!:

 This past year, as I've already spoken about in Elixher Magazine, I've really dedicated myself to the craft. Two of my short stories have been picked up for publication, I do my best to keep this blog updated. I went to AWP, I'm attending Writer's Work conference this week and I just signed up for Stuyvesant Writer's Workshop. I've even done a couple of interviews. All so when an agent does approach me I'll have something to show for myself. 

 Currently, three agents have my manuscript. 

Querying this round has officially gone better than any other attempts. I've reached a peace of mind that makes me feel like even if my book doesn't get picked up, I'll have really accomplished something impressive with all my hard work. I've become a better writer. I've become a stronger person with a thicker skin. Of course, I still want my book deal. Because I worked hard. And I won't promise that I won't absolutely go nuts if an agent does want me. 

The struggle has been real and I have been on this struggle bus for years, in this street, hard in the paint. I'll be done with the tears. I might even buy myself a tiara.

Finish Line

Today, I'll be writing the 19th chapter of my book. That's exciting in itself to some extent but what is most exciting for me is that I haven't stopped.

For the people who know me and read my work, I give up on projects frequently. I fail to outline and get stuck. I lose my momentum and stop. I realize the characters suck or the plot is derivative and I toss the manuscript.

But not this time. This time I see the finish line in sight and I'm headed straight toward it.

This is Usain Bolt. I am the him of writing.

I've been averaging about 10k words a month and it feels really good. But what is different this time around?

Well for one thing, I had a clear goal in mind when I began this project: Stomp the Fantasy Stereotypes. 

That goal allowed me to write a detailed outline starting first with the races of the world and then the history and finally places. Most of the outline won't go in the story but at least the place was real and different to me. Then I picked an interaction between two races to create my plot:  The Synn kidnap human women to use as surrogates. And HoSG was born.

It happened just like this, pretty much.

Now, I'm almost 3/4ths of the way finished. I'm not meeting the deadline I aimed for, which was last week, because I grossly underestimated the work that goes into producing something good. (I'll admit my other projects had huge flaws in them that I was too blinded (by the love of the game) to notice).

But I still count this as progress because I haven't stopped. I have no intention of stopping because the book hasn't given me a reason to stop. There is no lag. For once in my life there is no lag.

My high school art teacher once told me the middle of the painting is the hardest. She wasn't lying. I cried into my oil paint. Painting isn't my strong suit, granted, but the same goes for writing. The middle of the book is the worst for me. But I got through it this time and suddenly the end is completely in sight. Here's some more Usain for y'all.

 Prancing right over that muh fucker!

This moment came after tons of bad projects, some completed, some not. This came after over 100 query letter submissions, some acknowledged most not. This came after two full manuscript requests, none accepted.

And every failure has led to some sort of improvement. Improvement is progress. Progress gets you to the finish line.