Nanowrimo Week 2: The Story and the Word Count

 I've wrote almost 13,000 words in seven days.

But in week 2, I wrote nearly nothing.

Of course, life gets in our way. This time, I think I got in my own way. I wrote myself a cryptic note and I couldn't figure it out. I spent most of the week staring at "Write biker scene before dress scene". Here's a hint as to why that's confusing: my whole book is about bikers.

Eventually I gave up and wrote another scene which I like and which was true to the story. Maybe I'll remember what that scene was during editing. That's clarity I wish I had earlier this week. I was speaking with my friend Dyane Forde at some point about being a perfectionist. We both admit to this. 

I mentioned how I know that, in terms of speed and progress, editing is something best done when the draft is complete. For me, though, it's just impossible to press forward if I think something is badly written. I feel like everything following is also badly written or, if what follows is better written, the badly written work is still staining it. It's a lot like shitting your pants and trying to continue as if nothing happened. You just have to go home and clean up.

This book is short. I think I can still finish in the next 2 weeks. I hope that because it's short, this will be my only stumble. Now I face a different problem. Finish the story in time. 

I originally plotted the book into Year One and Year Two. And things seemed to be going great. But now, there seems to be so much missing. I mean exactly that, missing. The more I write, the more I feel like these pieces should be there. I'm actually surprised at how much I've written and what I've written. My main character is becoming ruthless and very violent. Every page I write is a surprise for me right now. 

  
I'm at the middle of the book, leading up the climax of the story. This is the part that's always most difficult for me. I am good at world building, introducing characters and getting them into trouble. I also feel like I'm even good at endings. But the middle, the pacing is the most terrifying and the most difficult. Quite frankly, I'm scared.

Added to the challenge is I want to see if I can STILL finish by the 22nd. Right before thanksgiving. And I would LOVE to spend the holiday editing. So, let's see how this week goes. See y'all sunday!

Nanowrimo: Week 1, Scrivener and 23k

Day 1 of NanoWriMo is upon us and I'm 23k words in.

No, I didn't write them today. I wrote those words nearly 6 months ago. I'm doing NanoWrimo with a project that has already been started. I used to feel like this was cheating. NanoWriMo is about beginning and finishing an MS in 30 days. But it dawned on me this year (my fourth year trying to do it), that finishing a story isn't the only way to win. Reaching 50k is the easiest and perhaps most popular way of doing it.

Besides, 50k might not even be a whole story for genre writers like myself. My current WIP is Sci-Fi (/ ugh, dystopian, maybe?) and I think it will run about 70-80k. So this headstart will help me reach 2 ways of winning, reaching 50k and actually completing the story I want to tell.

I've never won NanoWriMo before but I really intend to this year. I feel like I've been able to address my common problems so that while writing a novel (especially one that involves world building) can often be like this:

I'm hoping this year, I'll have an experience more like this:

Writing like a Got-Damn Disney Princess

1. World Building
1. Only this past year have I successfully created a well developed world and characters for a story to grow. This took me 5 months for a High Fantasy story--Like I said, I'm not really a high fantasy writer. I found it much easier to create a sci-fi environment
2. Outlining/Plot
1. I can't talk about Scrivener enough. Without it, I wouldn't have been able to write my novel. I wrote 113k words in 5 months. I'm sure I can do 50k in thirty days as long as I have my precious, precious software. I've never been good at outlining but Scrivener makes it incredibly easy.
3. Pacing/Momentum
1. I'm usually very enthusiastic about things from day 1 to like day 14. But the middle of the novel is hard and worse than hard, its daunting. It's the point where you feel like you don't want to keep writing. Like your story is shit. Like the world might as well just end now cus you're an idiot who never should've picked up a pen (or downloaded Scrivener). However, I just read Stephen King's "On Writing" and I've also learned so much about perserverance throughout the past couple of years. I'll probably do another blog post on this but basically "You can always edit if you have something written. But if you don't write, you can't edit." So breeze through the middle--fuck it, put in shit you know you won't ever keep. Whatever gets you to the next scene. Just keep putting one word after another.
4. Dependence
1. Writing, "they" say, is a solitary art. But I'm a social person. Hearing other people's ideas or even the sound of them typing, turns me on (in a way. No lawsuits please). In the past, I've never gone to the write-ins or bothered with writing buddies. But this year I'm going to go the extra mile to really experience this amazing event. I've already completely filled out my profile, complete with picture and even an excerpt.

So those are my four issues and what I am hoping are their solutions. I feel good. But then again, it IS only week one.

Dealing with Rejection: The Bey Way

In the past, I've cried over a query letter. And I'm not being dramatic. I've been heartbroken over the rejection. It is exhausting to hear agent after agent tell you that your project is not right for them. It's rough because it's an informal form letter that reeks with politeness. Phrases like "Keep going" and "the business is purely subjective" are meant to comfort but they can be infuriating. Once, an agent asked for my full book, only to refuse me. Another agent said she'd be interested in a re-write but ended up disinterested. This is not unusual but its not easy. At the end of the day I found myself sitting in front of my computer, sick and tired like: 

This

Twice now, I have completely stopped in my tracks while looking for an agent. This time around, I'm at 40 queries and I don't know how many rejections. And I don't care! Rejections are a part of life. It doesn't mean I stop. It means I keep going. If an agent passes on my book--it's okay because I didn't want that agent. 

Another thing that has helped, are two quotes from other writers I admire. The first is Octavia Butler who said "Getting a rejection slip was like being told your child is ugly. You got mad and didn't believe a word of it. Besides, look at all the really ugly literary children out there in the world being published and doing fine!" (Furor Scribendi). Right on, Mother Butler!

Sometimes, I'm really sad about books I don't like making it to the top of charts and I feel like I can't even get an agent to look my way. Jealousy is normal, I get over it but in the moment I need attention. The thirst is real. I reek of desperation.

Neil Gaiman also has inspiring words from his Blog entry titled "On Writing": "The best reaction to a rejection slip is a sort of wild-eyed madness, an evil grin, and sitting yourself in front of the keyboard muttering "Okay, you bastards. Try rejecting this!" and then writing something so unbelievably brilliant that all other writers will disembowel themselves with their pens upon reading it, because there's nothing left to write." In other words, werk!:

 This past year, as I've already spoken about in Elixher Magazine, I've really dedicated myself to the craft. Two of my short stories have been picked up for publication, I do my best to keep this blog updated. I went to AWP, I'm attending Writer's Work conference this week and I just signed up for Stuyvesant Writer's Workshop. I've even done a couple of interviews. All so when an agent does approach me I'll have something to show for myself. 

 Currently, three agents have my manuscript. 

Querying this round has officially gone better than any other attempts. I've reached a peace of mind that makes me feel like even if my book doesn't get picked up, I'll have really accomplished something impressive with all my hard work. I've become a better writer. I've become a stronger person with a thicker skin. Of course, I still want my book deal. Because I worked hard. And I won't promise that I won't absolutely go nuts if an agent does want me. 

The struggle has been real and I have been on this struggle bus for years, in this street, hard in the paint. I'll be done with the tears. I might even buy myself a tiara.