Dealing with Rejection: The Bey Way

In the past, I've cried over a query letter. And I'm not being dramatic. I've been heartbroken over the rejection. It is exhausting to hear agent after agent tell you that your project is not right for them. It's rough because it's an informal form letter that reeks with politeness. Phrases like "Keep going" and "the business is purely subjective" are meant to comfort but they can be infuriating. Once, an agent asked for my full book, only to refuse me. Another agent said she'd be interested in a re-write but ended up disinterested. This is not unusual but its not easy. At the end of the day I found myself sitting in front of my computer, sick and tired like: 

This

Twice now, I have completely stopped in my tracks while looking for an agent. This time around, I'm at 40 queries and I don't know how many rejections. And I don't care! Rejections are a part of life. It doesn't mean I stop. It means I keep going. If an agent passes on my book--it's okay because I didn't want that agent. 

Another thing that has helped, are two quotes from other writers I admire. The first is Octavia Butler who said "Getting a rejection slip was like being told your child is ugly. You got mad and didn't believe a word of it. Besides, look at all the really ugly literary children out there in the world being published and doing fine!" (Furor Scribendi). Right on, Mother Butler!

Sometimes, I'm really sad about books I don't like making it to the top of charts and I feel like I can't even get an agent to look my way. Jealousy is normal, I get over it but in the moment I need attention. The thirst is real. I reek of desperation.

Neil Gaiman also has inspiring words from his Blog entry titled "On Writing": "The best reaction to a rejection slip is a sort of wild-eyed madness, an evil grin, and sitting yourself in front of the keyboard muttering "Okay, you bastards. Try rejecting this!" and then writing something so unbelievably brilliant that all other writers will disembowel themselves with their pens upon reading it, because there's nothing left to write." In other words, werk!:

 This past year, as I've already spoken about in Elixher Magazine, I've really dedicated myself to the craft. Two of my short stories have been picked up for publication, I do my best to keep this blog updated. I went to AWP, I'm attending Writer's Work conference this week and I just signed up for Stuyvesant Writer's Workshop. I've even done a couple of interviews. All so when an agent does approach me I'll have something to show for myself. 

 Currently, three agents have my manuscript. 

Querying this round has officially gone better than any other attempts. I've reached a peace of mind that makes me feel like even if my book doesn't get picked up, I'll have really accomplished something impressive with all my hard work. I've become a better writer. I've become a stronger person with a thicker skin. Of course, I still want my book deal. Because I worked hard. And I won't promise that I won't absolutely go nuts if an agent does want me. 

The struggle has been real and I have been on this struggle bus for years, in this street, hard in the paint. I'll be done with the tears. I might even buy myself a tiara.

Query Hell: The Brown Girl in the Ring.

I finished my novel in May. I got it back from Beta readers in June. Now August has arrived and I am querying.

My goal is to query 100 agents. Previously, I've queried very narrowly and I am seriously lucky that I got any bites at all. This time, I feel completely different about my project. I'm not hung up on having it make me JK Rowling $$$ or fame. I'm not obsessed with getting the agent who reps my favorite authors.

I just want an agent who will love my book for what it is. That means

1. No white washing my characters
2. No ironing out my characters to make them straight
3. No genre/age changing. (I'm best suited to write about adults with adult readers in mind)

It dawned on me that I could land the agent who I know represents a writer I love and they could hate my book and by hate I mean try to change the things that make my story my own. Releasing my expectations has really made the process easier. Another thing that has made this easier is moving on.

While my Beta readers had the book, I outlined another book. Now that I'm waiting to hear back from agents, I have something to do: write.

Oddly enough, my biggest fears about getting picked up is that I won't, simply because marketing a gay black female character is just too much. Especially when her story doesn't revolve around her sexuality. Isn't it funny that dragons and elves and warlocks can exist in a world but brown dykes can't? 

I'm up to 31 agents. Thankfully, there are some excellent agents clearly seeking diversity. I look forward to hearing from them. 

Be a Better Beta

Everyone should Beta.

I mean this whether you are a writer or just a lover of stories--but I especially mean this for writers. I know what some of you are thinking.

I don't wanna!

 You work a full time job. 

You're writing your own book.

You have kids.

You have a reading list of already-published work.

You don't feel like you can properly critique work.

Get over it.

The bottom line is that Beta reading is an integral part of trying to get published. In my experience my manuscript drafts have become perhaps 3 times better after I get a few extra eyes on the project. This isn't just about correcting a comma to a semi-colon, this is a chance to see which characters speak to the average person, which people they hate or love, who comes alive and who falls flat.

This is a chance to see if your plot is moving slowly or too fast. Do your MCs have chemistry, is the love interest boring or over-sexualized?

Editing is hard, all of you know it. Here is a chance for you to dump all 500 pages of your Epic Fantasy Novel on someone else's hands. Someone who finds the story fresh, and exciting and doesn't know a thing about the other four drafts where your MC had too many apostrophes in his first name. 

You just get to be like: 

Here, Slave.  Read it! Every last bit!

 And people want to do this for you.

If you have a good group of friends and family, they have been dying to read your work. If you are smart, you've kept your draft a secret and now your adoring fans are thirsty for a drink of your amazing words! Even if no one you know has a degree in literature or writing and can't give you "educated" feed back on plot development and character they can tell you what they liked and disliked.

Every opinion counts. 

Which is why you should share yours. Reading is important to being a good writer. I think solidarity is just as amazing. What if your friends book is an amazing story that is years before it's time? What if it's an Urban Fantasy book that agents find too "preachy" and never pick up? But if what reading it inspires your own work, your next blog post, your next tweet, even? You can't miss out on the opportunity to review a fellow writer's work.

One day, (hopefully) you could be asked to do it for a big name. Your comment could end up on a book cover. How can you make sure your feedback is useful? Here's a handy list:

• Read the Book Twice
• Your first time combing through it will be riddled with names, places, rough plot. Only on the second go will you be acclimated with the characters and able to give something meaningful 

• Learn to Use an Editing Program
• "Review" in MS word is a godsend. It lets you make side comments, it highlights your corrections and all your analyses will be in different colored text. It then allows the owner of the document to accept or deny a change. Google docs does the same

•  Be Honest
• First time I had a beta reader it came from a stranger I met on Absolute Write Water Cooler. She got an agent last year. She's a very good writer. She SHAT ALL OVER MY WORK. I deserved it. It was a bad draft and I never thanked her for her honesty and break down. I wasn't ready for that kind of hurt. But she was a good Beta because she wasn't concerned about my feelings--she told me exactly what she thought of my book and what would make it a better project

• Be Objective
• It can be hard being a Beta for a friend. We are excited about their project and genuinely think its good. But consider the book as a stand-alone-project because the truth is, that is what it is. Authors don't end up being super celebrities most of the time. Usually their book is on a shelf and no one really knows what they look like walking down a street. So if the book wasn't any good, we wouldn't care about them. Learn to consider the book as a book and not an extension of someone you love.

• Find Something Negative to Say
• Feel free to disagree with me on this but I do think it's a good exercise to challenge yourself to come up with something negative. If you read through an MS and can't find a single thing you disliked--even if you admit it's completely your opinion, then you are not doing a good job. You need to give the writer everything and can decide what advice to discard. I think it's impossible to involve yourself in critical thinking without coming up with one critique.

Even if you only Beta for one project in your decades of writing, do it anyway. You will benefit from it in some way, even if it's just doing a good deed for someone else. You never know, you could be getting a sneakpeak at something amazing.

And it will look exactly like this.

Eureka: The Artist and the Lightbulb

A friend of mine just had her "moment".

You know what "The Moment" is. It can happen at work, in bed, in the shower, even while walking down the street. It's kind of like catching the holy ghost.

You just wait til they start hikin' up their skirts and stompin the floor!

"The Moment" is when someone--be they artist or arithmetician--realizes their calling and cannot ignore it any longer. My friend is an excellent writer. We share a common struggle called "Shit Happens". Shit Happens is exactly what it sounds like. It's your dog dying, your wife divorcing you, your boyfriend leaving you, your girlfriend throwing away your favorite worn out Converse sneakers. Shit Happens is anything and everything that will offer you an excuse to not do your work. I don't mean to seem unsympathetic, I AM unsympathetic. I am looking at the "old me", or really just regular me a few months prior--and about 40k words less, mind you--who was making excuses for herself. She had real problems; she was jobless, her relationship of 3 years seemed like it was failing, she was losing friends left and right and couldn't understand why.... And she let those very real and very depressing things distract her.

In truth, there are no excuses. If you are upset, write and distract yourself. If you are in a hurry, write on napkins or in the note app on your cell phone. If you need to clean the house and can't sit down and type, use dictation software. There is no valid excuse unless you say so. There is no teacher to chide your absence, no boss to deny your vacation days. If you are not writing there is no one to blame but yourself. 

You have to realize that before hand, because that takes up space and "The Moment" needs room to move through!

I imagine "The Moment" is a big diva who doesn't need to make herself known. When she arrives, you KNOW

I wish I could remember my exact moment. I thought it happened in February of 2013, almost a year ago. I quite my real estate job because I hated it and, by that point, all I did was rush through my work so I could write my novel in Google Docs. I quit, completely unprepared, convinced I was going to start, finish and submit the novel that would get me a deal. 

In September of 2013, I got a new job.

I had to admit that I half-assed it. And furthermore, I had a tumultuous summer--which I know now is irrelevant to my work but I didn't know that then and I let it stop me completely. Suddenly after I started my new job, I got this wave of invigoration. I started to write every day. I made plans for events and conferences. I started to read more. I submitted and applied to fellowships. I am averaging about 10k words a month and my draft will be finished in January. 

Ever since I had my "moment", I haven't had writer's block for more than a couple days and I've been active about fixing it, instead of hoping it will go away. Since I've had my "Moment", people have been telling me how inspired they are by me and how they wish they could be as motivated. I'm inclined to say that all they have to do is stop "wanting" and "wishing" and just do it. The roughest part of writing the book is sitting down to write. Once the fingers move on the keyboard and the words start flowing, you never want to leave. 

But I could be wrong. It might not be that easy. If you want to induce your moment--yes, like pregnancy--read The War Of Art. It's a good kick-in-the-pants and a quick read. The bottom line is, there is no reason you're not living your dream right now. JK Rowling was on welfare when she wrote Harry Potter--and she did it by choice because she's just more of a G than you are.

Note: this is not an actual picture

Write that book. It really won't write itself.

The Climb

Confession: I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing with this blog.

Then why write it, you ask? Because! It's a baby. It's a toddler fumbling through it's first steps. It's got years to figure out what it wants to do with itself, or how, or why.

"So what I just crapped myself? I'm a diva, Bee-otch!"

I'm using this as an online journal to track this novel-writing journey. So what have I learned about The Journey thus far? It's rough, man. My current WIP is my third completed book idea. This will be the first draft. I'm hoping to finish it by January, so that I have a good working draft by February, in time for the AWP conference. I hope to work through all my nerves and really meet some agents. Then query them and reference our meeting.

"Hey there, my becca is Name, can you book my sell? I mean, sell my book? I mean..."

This is pretty standard procedure and a great way to get an agent's attention. It shows you sought them out (because let's face it, authors have their own slushpile), it shows you did your research and it also shows you're serious about your career. (And let me tell you, as expensive as AWP and a trip to Seattle is for me, I'm PRE-TY FUCKING SERIOUS). After AWP, I hope to query soon. So my nights and evenings are almost consumed by writing. And I'm not just working on my book.

 All the drafts. So many drafts.

At the end of the query letter, is a short paragraph about the author. Now, I'm not going to poo-poo my past endeavors; I was a prolific Spoken Word Artist, I've had poems and articles published and I graduated from Sarah Lawrence College where I got to study Creative Writing with the best minds ever. But my fiction accolades are slim to none. Actually, just none. So I've been trying to pump out short stories and submit to lit magazines. I'm not good at short anything. Telling a complete story in under 4k words is putting myself in the driver's seat of a big ol' struggle bus. Still, it's good for me to at least be able to beef up that humble paragraph at the end of a query letter.

This is not necessary. On prior projects, I got requests for my full manuscripts even though I had little credentials. I had written a story that looked like it would sell and looked like it was different. (The story actually sucked but that's a different topic). So, of course, my primary objective is to finish the novel. Publishing is a big-freaking-deal, though, and all of this is in the back of my head. On top of even more things. 

"These are my real friends."

I'm always a better writer when I'm reading books, preferably books relevant to my project. But honestly, I like to read anything I can get my hands on. I primarily read African American lit because I love the vibe of the prose. But I'm finding some Fantasy and Science Fiction that 1. demonstrates the prose I love or 2. has been written by a black or black female author 3. contains both one and two. Another things I do when I'm not reading or writing?

Class

Events, events, events.

AWP is a big one but I end up in all sorts of things; readings, lectures, law talks, even! In the Spring, I hope to take a writing course at Gotham Writers' Workshop. At that point, I'll have sent in this project and will be working on another and (hopefully) hearing answers to my query letters. They might be all rejections. I'm prepared and almost expecting that. #jaded

So what is the point of all the exhausting  and exhaustive work? Well, if I am never published I will still write. I might as well be good at it.

Google Middle Earth (Fluff Post)

This is possibly the coolest thing ever.

You can Google Middle Earth

This is obviously for the promotion of the new movie but nonetheless, it's literally fantastic. 

Besides, from the writer end of it, if you can imagine your book will EVER be turned into a movie, wouldn't you want that movie to then become so popular that your fans can "Street view" that ish? I'm the first to admit that I covet other author's careers. While I don't, in any way, aspire to be Tolkien, I have to give props. Everyone does. Everyone. Even you, over there in the corner.

When I saw this, I thought to myself, "One day, you'll be able to Google Mithrinar!" I got overly excited at the thought.

I also realize I have to actually write a novel for the novel to be turned into a movie. Ain't that some ol' bullshit?