Nanowrimo Week 2: The Story and the Word Count

 I've wrote almost 13,000 words in seven days.

But in week 2, I wrote nearly nothing.

Of course, life gets in our way. This time, I think I got in my own way. I wrote myself a cryptic note and I couldn't figure it out. I spent most of the week staring at "Write biker scene before dress scene". Here's a hint as to why that's confusing: my whole book is about bikers.

Eventually I gave up and wrote another scene which I like and which was true to the story. Maybe I'll remember what that scene was during editing. That's clarity I wish I had earlier this week. I was speaking with my friend Dyane Forde at some point about being a perfectionist. We both admit to this. 

I mentioned how I know that, in terms of speed and progress, editing is something best done when the draft is complete. For me, though, it's just impossible to press forward if I think something is badly written. I feel like everything following is also badly written or, if what follows is better written, the badly written work is still staining it. It's a lot like shitting your pants and trying to continue as if nothing happened. You just have to go home and clean up.

This book is short. I think I can still finish in the next 2 weeks. I hope that because it's short, this will be my only stumble. Now I face a different problem. Finish the story in time. 

I originally plotted the book into Year One and Year Two. And things seemed to be going great. But now, there seems to be so much missing. I mean exactly that, missing. The more I write, the more I feel like these pieces should be there. I'm actually surprised at how much I've written and what I've written. My main character is becoming ruthless and very violent. Every page I write is a surprise for me right now. 

  
I'm at the middle of the book, leading up the climax of the story. This is the part that's always most difficult for me. I am good at world building, introducing characters and getting them into trouble. I also feel like I'm even good at endings. But the middle, the pacing is the most terrifying and the most difficult. Quite frankly, I'm scared.

Added to the challenge is I want to see if I can STILL finish by the 22nd. Right before thanksgiving. And I would LOVE to spend the holiday editing. So, let's see how this week goes. See y'all sunday!

Dealing with Rejection: The Bey Way

In the past, I've cried over a query letter. And I'm not being dramatic. I've been heartbroken over the rejection. It is exhausting to hear agent after agent tell you that your project is not right for them. It's rough because it's an informal form letter that reeks with politeness. Phrases like "Keep going" and "the business is purely subjective" are meant to comfort but they can be infuriating. Once, an agent asked for my full book, only to refuse me. Another agent said she'd be interested in a re-write but ended up disinterested. This is not unusual but its not easy. At the end of the day I found myself sitting in front of my computer, sick and tired like: 

This

Twice now, I have completely stopped in my tracks while looking for an agent. This time around, I'm at 40 queries and I don't know how many rejections. And I don't care! Rejections are a part of life. It doesn't mean I stop. It means I keep going. If an agent passes on my book--it's okay because I didn't want that agent. 

Another thing that has helped, are two quotes from other writers I admire. The first is Octavia Butler who said "Getting a rejection slip was like being told your child is ugly. You got mad and didn't believe a word of it. Besides, look at all the really ugly literary children out there in the world being published and doing fine!" (Furor Scribendi). Right on, Mother Butler!

Sometimes, I'm really sad about books I don't like making it to the top of charts and I feel like I can't even get an agent to look my way. Jealousy is normal, I get over it but in the moment I need attention. The thirst is real. I reek of desperation.

Neil Gaiman also has inspiring words from his Blog entry titled "On Writing": "The best reaction to a rejection slip is a sort of wild-eyed madness, an evil grin, and sitting yourself in front of the keyboard muttering "Okay, you bastards. Try rejecting this!" and then writing something so unbelievably brilliant that all other writers will disembowel themselves with their pens upon reading it, because there's nothing left to write." In other words, werk!:

 This past year, as I've already spoken about in Elixher Magazine, I've really dedicated myself to the craft. Two of my short stories have been picked up for publication, I do my best to keep this blog updated. I went to AWP, I'm attending Writer's Work conference this week and I just signed up for Stuyvesant Writer's Workshop. I've even done a couple of interviews. All so when an agent does approach me I'll have something to show for myself. 

 Currently, three agents have my manuscript. 

Querying this round has officially gone better than any other attempts. I've reached a peace of mind that makes me feel like even if my book doesn't get picked up, I'll have really accomplished something impressive with all my hard work. I've become a better writer. I've become a stronger person with a thicker skin. Of course, I still want my book deal. Because I worked hard. And I won't promise that I won't absolutely go nuts if an agent does want me. 

The struggle has been real and I have been on this struggle bus for years, in this street, hard in the paint. I'll be done with the tears. I might even buy myself a tiara.

My First Author Interview!

Since September of 2013 I've really been making a game plan to get my shit together. That meant:

• Outlining a novel and committing to finish it
• This meant publicizing it! I feel like I, personally, can't back out of something if everyone knows I'm doing it. 
• Reading more
• Connecting with other writers
• Editing for other writers
• Attending events and conference
• Writing every single day 
• Try to get some short stories published
• Take a Gotham Writer's Workshop
• Apply for Fellowship

That last one is particularly difficult. Sometimes, you want to come home and relax.

That feeling when you take off your bra after a long day at work

However, since making this commitment, I've averaged about 10k words a month. I need to speed it up a little to be done by February--but I'm still impressed with myself. Especially since I think my writing for this project really isn't too bad!

  I booked my ticket for AWP (Association of Writers and Writer's Program) and attended an event at the Brooklyn Historical Society, that spoke about race and speculative fiction! It's been a fun ride and so far my hard work has culminated in the following:

Click Here

Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty good! And this young lady inspired me to come up with a list of 

Writing Goals for 2014

•  Finish the Novel
• Attend three more writing events outside of AWP
• Query 20+ agents (I tend to under-query and give up)
• Write and Submit 3 short stories
• Outline and begin draft of next project
• Read 10 books
• Tweet one new writer a day (I've met some great people this way)
• Publicize this blog
• Edit for someone in my genre

This is going to be such a good year--it's already off to a fantastic start! That isn't to underestimate that the publishing industry isn't terrifying and difficult. It's basically a war. I'm ready though.

So. Fucking. Ready

Eureka: The Artist and the Lightbulb

A friend of mine just had her "moment".

You know what "The Moment" is. It can happen at work, in bed, in the shower, even while walking down the street. It's kind of like catching the holy ghost.

You just wait til they start hikin' up their skirts and stompin the floor!

"The Moment" is when someone--be they artist or arithmetician--realizes their calling and cannot ignore it any longer. My friend is an excellent writer. We share a common struggle called "Shit Happens". Shit Happens is exactly what it sounds like. It's your dog dying, your wife divorcing you, your boyfriend leaving you, your girlfriend throwing away your favorite worn out Converse sneakers. Shit Happens is anything and everything that will offer you an excuse to not do your work. I don't mean to seem unsympathetic, I AM unsympathetic. I am looking at the "old me", or really just regular me a few months prior--and about 40k words less, mind you--who was making excuses for herself. She had real problems; she was jobless, her relationship of 3 years seemed like it was failing, she was losing friends left and right and couldn't understand why.... And she let those very real and very depressing things distract her.

In truth, there are no excuses. If you are upset, write and distract yourself. If you are in a hurry, write on napkins or in the note app on your cell phone. If you need to clean the house and can't sit down and type, use dictation software. There is no valid excuse unless you say so. There is no teacher to chide your absence, no boss to deny your vacation days. If you are not writing there is no one to blame but yourself. 

You have to realize that before hand, because that takes up space and "The Moment" needs room to move through!

I imagine "The Moment" is a big diva who doesn't need to make herself known. When she arrives, you KNOW

I wish I could remember my exact moment. I thought it happened in February of 2013, almost a year ago. I quite my real estate job because I hated it and, by that point, all I did was rush through my work so I could write my novel in Google Docs. I quit, completely unprepared, convinced I was going to start, finish and submit the novel that would get me a deal. 

In September of 2013, I got a new job.

I had to admit that I half-assed it. And furthermore, I had a tumultuous summer--which I know now is irrelevant to my work but I didn't know that then and I let it stop me completely. Suddenly after I started my new job, I got this wave of invigoration. I started to write every day. I made plans for events and conferences. I started to read more. I submitted and applied to fellowships. I am averaging about 10k words a month and my draft will be finished in January. 

Ever since I had my "moment", I haven't had writer's block for more than a couple days and I've been active about fixing it, instead of hoping it will go away. Since I've had my "Moment", people have been telling me how inspired they are by me and how they wish they could be as motivated. I'm inclined to say that all they have to do is stop "wanting" and "wishing" and just do it. The roughest part of writing the book is sitting down to write. Once the fingers move on the keyboard and the words start flowing, you never want to leave. 

But I could be wrong. It might not be that easy. If you want to induce your moment--yes, like pregnancy--read The War Of Art. It's a good kick-in-the-pants and a quick read. The bottom line is, there is no reason you're not living your dream right now. JK Rowling was on welfare when she wrote Harry Potter--and she did it by choice because she's just more of a G than you are.

Note: this is not an actual picture

Write that book. It really won't write itself.

The Climb

Confession: I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing with this blog.

Then why write it, you ask? Because! It's a baby. It's a toddler fumbling through it's first steps. It's got years to figure out what it wants to do with itself, or how, or why.

"So what I just crapped myself? I'm a diva, Bee-otch!"

I'm using this as an online journal to track this novel-writing journey. So what have I learned about The Journey thus far? It's rough, man. My current WIP is my third completed book idea. This will be the first draft. I'm hoping to finish it by January, so that I have a good working draft by February, in time for the AWP conference. I hope to work through all my nerves and really meet some agents. Then query them and reference our meeting.

"Hey there, my becca is Name, can you book my sell? I mean, sell my book? I mean..."

This is pretty standard procedure and a great way to get an agent's attention. It shows you sought them out (because let's face it, authors have their own slushpile), it shows you did your research and it also shows you're serious about your career. (And let me tell you, as expensive as AWP and a trip to Seattle is for me, I'm PRE-TY FUCKING SERIOUS). After AWP, I hope to query soon. So my nights and evenings are almost consumed by writing. And I'm not just working on my book.

 All the drafts. So many drafts.

At the end of the query letter, is a short paragraph about the author. Now, I'm not going to poo-poo my past endeavors; I was a prolific Spoken Word Artist, I've had poems and articles published and I graduated from Sarah Lawrence College where I got to study Creative Writing with the best minds ever. But my fiction accolades are slim to none. Actually, just none. So I've been trying to pump out short stories and submit to lit magazines. I'm not good at short anything. Telling a complete story in under 4k words is putting myself in the driver's seat of a big ol' struggle bus. Still, it's good for me to at least be able to beef up that humble paragraph at the end of a query letter.

This is not necessary. On prior projects, I got requests for my full manuscripts even though I had little credentials. I had written a story that looked like it would sell and looked like it was different. (The story actually sucked but that's a different topic). So, of course, my primary objective is to finish the novel. Publishing is a big-freaking-deal, though, and all of this is in the back of my head. On top of even more things. 

"These are my real friends."

I'm always a better writer when I'm reading books, preferably books relevant to my project. But honestly, I like to read anything I can get my hands on. I primarily read African American lit because I love the vibe of the prose. But I'm finding some Fantasy and Science Fiction that 1. demonstrates the prose I love or 2. has been written by a black or black female author 3. contains both one and two. Another things I do when I'm not reading or writing?

Class

Events, events, events.

AWP is a big one but I end up in all sorts of things; readings, lectures, law talks, even! In the Spring, I hope to take a writing course at Gotham Writers' Workshop. At that point, I'll have sent in this project and will be working on another and (hopefully) hearing answers to my query letters. They might be all rejections. I'm prepared and almost expecting that. #jaded

So what is the point of all the exhausting  and exhaustive work? Well, if I am never published I will still write. I might as well be good at it.

Google Middle Earth (Fluff Post)

This is possibly the coolest thing ever.

You can Google Middle Earth

This is obviously for the promotion of the new movie but nonetheless, it's literally fantastic. 

Besides, from the writer end of it, if you can imagine your book will EVER be turned into a movie, wouldn't you want that movie to then become so popular that your fans can "Street view" that ish? I'm the first to admit that I covet other author's careers. While I don't, in any way, aspire to be Tolkien, I have to give props. Everyone does. Everyone. Even you, over there in the corner.

When I saw this, I thought to myself, "One day, you'll be able to Google Mithrinar!" I got overly excited at the thought.

I also realize I have to actually write a novel for the novel to be turned into a movie. Ain't that some ol' bullshit?